Something odd happened today
by Sired
Summary: Just a quick oneshot i pounded out in a few minutes and barely remembered to spell check. Takes place at the sealing of kyuubi. FemNaru Rated T for a single word
1. Chapter 1

AN: Had a few minutes free and this popped into my head so dont expect anything spectacular.

* * *

Miinato stared down at his strangely calm but beautiful daughter that he held in his hands as he sat atop Gamabunta, moments away from starting the sealing of the kyuubi. As he gazed at her hair he couldn't help but be reminded of his wife who had passed away while giving birth to his daughter.

He was suddenly taken out of his revelry as the kyuubi suddenly started charging Gamabunta. His eyes widened as he and his summon barely dodged the charge, but already he could see the kyuubi starting another and with konoha at his back he knew they would be unable to dodge again.

Knowing he had no choice he raised his daughter above him, as the first step of the sealing called for, as if showing the gods his choice of container for the fox.

As he raised his daughter he saw the charging monsters eyes lock onto the form of his daughter. Suddenly the fox started back peddling trying with all his might to stop and he saw the fox open its mouth and let out an ear piercing noise

"YELP! YELP! YELP!"

Miinato watched stunned as the fox was finally able to turn and started running in the opposite direction even faster then its previous charge. As the fox looked over its shoulder he saw something in its eyes he thought he would never see... fear...

Suddenly the foxes maw opened and Miinato was stunned once again as not a noise but speech came forth.

"SWEAT MOTHER OF ALL CHAOS RUN FOR YOUR LIVES ITS LINA INVERSE!"

Suddenly the noise grew deafening as the ground below became active as every animal that was hiding during the Kyuubi's rampage came out of hiding and started running away in an ever expanding circle around him and his daughter... Even Gamabunta at the foxes shout suddenly bucked him off and started running seeming to forget he could dismiss himself.

After landing safely from his free fall with his daughter he was left standing in the middle of a destroyed forest with just two questions on his mind.

"What the FUCK?" and "how did the kyuubi know they named her lina?"


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Starts out the same as chapter 1. Another one of those few minute things.

* * *

Minato stared down at hit strangely calm but beautiful daughter held in his hands as he sat atop Gamabunta moments away from starting the sealing of the kyuubi. As he gazed at her hair he couldn't help but be reminded of his wife who had passed away while giving birth to his daughter.

He was suddenly taken out of his revelry as the kyuubi suddenly started charging Gamabunta. His eyes widened as he and his summon barely dodged the charge, but already he could see the kyuubi starting another and with konoha at his back he knew they would be unable to dodge again.

Knowing he had no choice he raised his daughter above him, as the first step of the sealing called for, as if showing the gods his choice of container for the fox.

As he was raising his daughter he suddenly paused and squinted hard and couldn't help but sweatdrop at the absurdity of what he assumed was a tennis ball someone had thrown at the kyuubi.

As the 'tennis ball' made contact he blinked as popping sound was heard, far louder then it had any right to be and his eyes widened as a beam of red seemed to suck the kyuubi inside the ball before falling to the forest below.

As he stood there dumb founded he heard another popping sound just before gambunta was also covered in red light and disappeared leaving him to freefall to the ground.

After landing he couldn't help but stand there with his daughter still raised confused about what happened and wondering if he could somehow claim the credit for kyuubi's 'defeat'.

* * *

Bending down and collecting his 2 pokeballs Red wondered just what type of pokemon they where while thinking it odd how his pokedex had no information on them. Another odd thing was the pokeballs didn't automatically teleport to his holding box, still he was thankful that he had saved some master balls or capturing them would have been a lot harder.

As he starting walking away disappearing into the strange mist in the forest he couldn't help but wonder how he had gotten so lost...


	3. Chapter 3

AN: This also popped into my head.

* * *

kyuubi watched as the blond ape was staring at the little ape in him arms as they stood on top of the fake pet.

Seeing the big ape distracted, he charged but missed as the fake pet leaped to the side. Growling kyuubi surveyed the battle field and realized that while he didn't hit him, in their moment of distraction they had made a mistake in where they dodged to.

An excited growl escaped kyuubi when it realized that even if the ape dodged again it's den would be undefended.

Looking closer he saw that the blond ape had been joined by a silver ape with spiky fur causing the blond ape to be distracted yet again. Sezing this chance of distraction on the preys part, kyuubi charged once again. As the blond ape raised the little ape up something strange happened.

The silver ape jumped off the fake pet at and floated in the middle of the two giants. Kyuubi watched as the silver ape straightened himself out, still floating in mid air and brought its elbows to its sides. Suddenly the silver ape gave a primal roar that was deafening as a powerful silver aura seemed to burst forth from his body that dwarfed the kyuubi's own.

Stopping his charge as the now pure metallic eye seemed to lock onto his own, the spiky silver haired creature gave another roar as the kyuubi and the yellow haired ape gaped at him.

Suddenly the kyuubi looked around as the silver one seemed to disappear.

Suddenly kyuubi heard a whispered voice... "You should never let an enemy get behind you..."

Its eyes widened but it was to late the powerful silver being shouted its attack.

**"ONE _HUNDRED THOUSAND_ YEARS OF DEATH!"**

The flying, glowing, rage filled figure of kakashi shoved his index and middle fingers shaped as the tiger seal into the great nine tailed kyuubi's rectum.

Nothing happened for half a second, time seeming to stop, before the great fox was launched into the sky riding on a giant beam of silver power wider then Konohagakure.

As the foxes form was disintegrated by the raw power starting from inside its ass, it knew that this was the most horrific and embarrassing way to die.

Seeing his job done the aura around kakashi disappeared as he landed in one of the paw prints left by the kyuubi.

Tears streaking from his visible eye, kakashi gingerly bent down in the giant foot print left by the kyuubi and gingerly picked up a nearly completly destroyed book. He cursed the fact that he had baught a substandard vest with substandered pockets.

* * *

Miinato, his child, and everyone else watched frozen as there heads slowly followed kakashi as he walked away, head bowed and gently sobbing as he cradled the form of his destroyed icha icha paradise book.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: This popped into my head when ffnet wouldnt let me get chapter 3 out.

* * *

Minato stared down at his strangely excited but beautiful blond haired boy held in his hands as he stood in the hokage office with saratobi and Jiraiya, minutes away from charging out to the battle field to seal the fox, knowing he would soon be joining his wife.

Sarutobi and Jiraiya couldn't help but stare at the child, but it was Jiraiya who found his voice first.

"Minato.. what is.. that?" he asked pointing to the child's rear as what looked like a long yellow monkeys tail wiggled about.

Minato looked at his sensei in confusion "Huh what are you talking about?"

Clearing his throat sarutobi spoke up. "I think he is asking why your son... seems to have a tail."

Minato looked at them dumb founded before instantly smiling at them like a parent would when a child told a tall tale.

"Now's not the time for jokes, the kyuubi is almost here." Minato said before looking at his child again, his smile twisting into one worn by someone in _extream_ denile.

Sarutobi and Jiraiya shared a glance before looking at the child held in the Hokage's arms again, noting how odd the child looked from what they were use to from a new born that just had its cord cut.

He seemed slightly bigger then he should be and had golden hair that seemed to almost glow. Not only was the head full of spiky blond hair odd, but instead of his parents eye color, his eyes where a teal.

What really drew the eye though was instead of baby fat the child had muscles. Not just tiny muscles too, but it looked as if the child had some how gotten hold of a bar bell and had been spending its 9 months doing nothing but exercising while waiting impatiently to be born.

How ever the most odd this was

"TAIL, HE'S GOT A TAIL!" Jiraiya blurted out into the silent room.

Minato looked at his Sensei slightly annoyed "Jiraiya enough fooling around we don't have time for this." Minato said, his voice gaining a warning edge.

"Minato... I was there when litt... Naruto was born so there is no doubt about the mother but... are you sure... he's your son?.." Sarutobi asked as gently as he could hoping to break though the denial the fourth Hokage seamed to have wrapped himself in.

Glaring furiously they could hear the anger in Minato's voice. "Just WHAT are you implying about my WIFE!., No you know what this isn't the time for this."

Before they could react he twirled away from them and vanished in a flash of yellow leaving the two standing alone in the office.

"I love him like a son... but no way could that puttz be that child's father, that baby had more defined muscles on him then most genin." Jiraiya commented.

Sarutobi could only sigh while trying to rub his headache away.

* * *

Appearing in the path of the Kyuubi, Minato couldn't help but be thankful that the beast was not yet visible from the village, or the civilians would panic as they where escorted to the shelters. Going though hand seals, hands blurring he slammed them into the ground.

"Kuchiyose no Jutsu"

As smoke clouded his vision he felt himself raise into the air at a rapid pace. Before he could do anything else his eyes widened as a single massive tail became visible though the smoke, to close to dodge.

Reacting quickly he turned his body so the tail would strike him in the back, and not in the harness his cute, little, defenseless, baby boy was in.

As his summon was instantly returned to the summon realm from having the technique interrupted, Minato couldn't help but scream as he was sent flying though the air.

"YAAAAA HOOOOO HUOO EEEEE"

After crashing into the ground, as he was loosing consciousness, he felt proud he managed to protect his little baby boy, but also felt mortified he managed to let out such an unmanly sound.

* * *

As the Kyuubi snickered to himself from the sound of the human he managed to hit with his tail made, little Naruto couldn't help but stare at the giant light in the sky. He seemed mesmerized by it.

Turning its attention back to the task the greatest, and most handsomest of the Bijuu, in his most humble opinion anyway, continued its march of destruction while humming to itself.

_"We can dance if we want to  
We can leave your friends behind  
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance  
Well they're no friends of mine"_

How ever before it could take more then a few steps, it gaped as a giant glowing yellow monkey that suddeny seemed to apear from no where, dwarfing not just its power but size as well.

As Kyuubi stared into the great monkeys eyes, the great ape spoke to it in the language all animals understand.

"I'ma rape you bitch... Believe it.."

The great and most powerful of the Bijuu could only let out a tiny whimper before the ape attacked.

* * *

AN: Got stuck in my head from watching episode 16 of 'Dragon Ball Z Abridged' Zarbon vs vegita

And yes Minato wasnt his father and year he was born as a level 2 legendary super sayian of kickassery of the same type as broly but stronger, because unlike every one in the show he can not only use physical energy:ki, but also spiritual energy:chi, and chakra (ki and chi combined)

If i could pull this crap off in real life i would be trolling everyone, taking chopsticks just before they put the food in there mouths, removing kakashi's mask in public, shaving Gai's and lee's eye brows, and thats just with super speed. If you got it may as well have fun with it.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Just an idle thought of 'What would my mom do if i was in naruto's place

* * *

She knew she shouldn't be here, she knew that shortly after she used it he would know about it ompnipoent bastered he was. But she also knew that untill she DID actually use it he wouldnt know, freewill being something not even the gods could know about.

She tried being nice about it by filling out all the paperwork so that she to could look in on her son, like all the others who had passed on could, but every time it had been revoked.

As she touched the rim of the viewing pool, she immediately focused on her child just after his birth, wanting to watch his life from then to now.

As time around her slowed so that she may view his entire life from past to present her figure stilled as she viewed more and more of his life.

"You really shouldn't have looked, you know... it's not like you will be able to do anything, Kami didn't want you to know because it would cause you pain" Shinigami said to the back of kushina uzumaki as he stood at the entrance of the room.

Shinigami was currently in the form of a man of average height, he had blond hair that came down to cover one eye. His eye brow above his other eye was his main feature, as it was longer then normal and curled into a spiral. He also wore an all black suit with a blue striped shirt and black dress shoes.

"Shinigami..." Kushina said quietly.

shingami raised an eyebrow at her back "Yes?"

"I'm going back." she stated as if she was talking about something as simple as a fallen leaf.

His brow scrunched in confusion, he couldn't help but ask "Why now? you have never wanted reincarnation before, and its not like you would be able to help him anyway after your memory's are sealed until you die again."

"No, you don't understand... No reincarnation, No summon, No raise from the dead. I'm simply going to walk out of this room, go to the living realm, and take care of my child."

Growing angry the shinigami he couldn't help but sputter at this mortal soul before him "WHAT! preposterous, you know I would never allow you to do such woman, know your place!, We do things this way for a reason and are not about to change it just because of use of you!"

"Tell me shinigami... being a god makes you immortal does it not?, and despite being the god of death you have never experienced death have you?" kushina questioned her voice low.

His anger draining away and being replaced by confusion he looked at her back oddly trying to figure out where she was going with this.

"No of course not, no god has experienced it. Only the souls of humans and other mortals have."

He watched as she started to turn, her head looking over her left shoulder at him. As her eye's met his, his mouth open in astonishment as her eyes where literally glowing solid white, bright enough to cast off light into the room around her, so great was her rage at the treatment of her child.

Shinigami shivered as she opened her mouth, her next words sending shivers down his non existent spine.

"How would you like to see what death is like?"

* * *

Kami frowned as she looked over the beaten form of her brother as he lay against the wall, his suit torn and skuffed, his hands shaking uncontrollably as be brought a cigerette up to his mouth.

"I cant beleive you let her get away. Not only does she have all her memories from her other reincarnations, but now that she is in the living world again we cant actually DO anything about it! Not only that but because she didnt reincarnate she is still just as immortal like all souls!" kami ended up shouting at her brother, hands on her hips.

"Your a GOD! You should have been the one in control of that situation!" Kami shouted.

After taking a drag from his ciggerette the shinigami snorted and replyed "Sister I was only in control of two things in that room just now."

"And what were they?" Kami asked him curiously.

"I was in control of Jack and shit, and jack left town." he replyed to her.

Frowning at her brother she still couldnt help but wonder about something. "Why was she so angry though? I meen yes its cruel of them what they are doing to her child, but normally after gaining the memorys of past reincarnations they mellow out..."

Exhailing more smoke he decided to let her into a fact that seemed to have slipped her mind. "Thats because he is her only child."

"huh?" kami asked him while blinking owlishly

"I said 'that's because he is her only child.' in all of her incarnations in the living world she has actually never been a mother before now." Shinigami told her and then winced in more pain.

"well... Shit" Kami said before blushing at what she said.

* * *

"HANG ON BABY MOMMYS COMMING!" kushina shouted as she ran, landmasses passing by as she left a trench so great was her speed.

* * *

"Naruto pay attention! and why are you smiling!" Iruka Umino shouted at naruto as he was lecturing him once again in detention

"I dont know Iruka-sensei, for some reason I can't stop" said naruto as he had a silly grin plastered on his face feeling like things where going to change.


End file.
